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My secret!

The secret of A S 

 

I sometimes write books and those in Dutch were all sold out real soon.

Were these books so good then?

Hmmm, maybe they were, maybe they were not.

You must know that in Holland the critics of the reviewers were always very positive whenever a new book came out.

They wrote it was a master piece and they strongly advised fanciers to buy.

Why these reviewers admire me so much?

Everything has a reason. Theirs was that they know that the hockey stick of my son is always nearby and'.

I know where those reviewers live and THEY know that I know.

One critical word would be enough to get into my car and go after them.

With my hockey stick !!  

You do not believe me?

Talk to my son, who, I forgot to tell you, is a wonder child.

When he was a kid the teacher that told me he should work harder got what he deserved.

This time not from my hockey stick but from a normal club with which I normally solve traffic problems.


MY SON

Like everybody today I have a digital camera but once it slipped out of my hands and fell into the drinker of my pigeons.

When the man that sold me this camera said he could not repair it I looked at him the way Clint Eastwood looks at bad guys, eyes nearly closed, and now I wonder how smart that 'camera seller' is.

He should know my reputation and his shop has a real big glass window.

I must tell you something more about my son.

Tomorrow he will play soccer and I hope the referee will be smarter than the one that lead the match one year ago.

Then my son deserved a penalty but did not get it.

The referee will resume his job next week, in the beginning for half days only.

 

MY PUBLISHER

The biggest problem I had with my first book.

When I showed the script to a publisher he said it was shit and one of his rules was never to print stuff that was shit.  

After I had a serious talk with him he changed his mind and even paid me!

Nice guy!

 

MY OFFICER

And much smarter than that police man.

One of my many defects is that I drive much fast.

If I do not get many tickets then you may wonder?

To tell you the truth, after that incident with that officer 3 years ago I did not even get one!

Coincidentally I saw him walk again yesterday.

Ok, that was in another town and on crutches but at least he could walk.

 

MY FAMILY AND DOCTOR

Many parents have problems with their kids when they are in their puberty.

I never had any problems, on the contrary, they always listened well.

I must admit in the beginning this was different but the problems we had were solved real soon.

Initially my family doctor did not trust the wounds on the bodies of my kids and thought about informing the police.

I told him that was not a real good idea and thanks God he followed my advice and kept his mouth shut.

Smart guy, who reminds me of that dentist.

After he had asked some irritating questions about the missing teeth of my little boy he was so smart as to change the subject.

 

MY WIFE

I felt it my duty to let you know why some Dutch are positive about my articles.

When I let my wife read this one she found I should not publish it.

'The whole world will know your hands are loose' she moaned.

She should be ok by now.